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THE
ROTATION METHOD
(Excerpt)
by Soren
Kierkegaard
Should one wish to attain the maximum momentum, even to the point of
almost endangering the driving power, one need only say to oneself:
Bordem is the root of all evil...
The history of this can be traced from the begining of the world. The
gods were bored and so they created man. Adam was bored because he was
alone, and so Eve was created. Thus bordom entered the world, and
increased in proportion to the increase of population. Adam was bored
alone; then Adam and Eve were bored together; then Adam and Eve and
Cain and Able were bored en famille; then the
population of the world increased and the peoples were bored en
masse. To divert themselves they conceived of the idea of
constructing a tower high enough to reach the heavens. This idea itself
is as boring as the tower was high, and constitutes a terrible proof of
how bordem gained the upperhand. The nations were scattered over the
earth, just as people now travel abroad, but they continued to be
bored. Consider the consequenses of this bordom. Humanity fell from its
lofty hight, first because of Eve, and then from the tower of Bable.
What was it, on the other hand, that delayed the fall of Rome, was it
not panis and circenses?[2] And is anything being
done now? Is anyone being concerned about planning some means of
diversion? Quite the contrary, the impending ruin is being accelerated.
It is proposed to call a constitutional assembly. Can anything more
tiresome be imagined, both for the participants themselves, and for
those who have to read and her about it? It is proposed to improve the
financial condition of the state by practicing economy. What could be
more tiresome? Instead of increasing the national debt, it is proposed
that we pay it off. As I understand the political situation, it would
be easier for Denmark to negotiate a loan of fifteen million dollars.
Why not consider this plan? Every once in a while we hear of a man who
is a genius, and therefore neglects to pay his debts---why should not
the nation do the same if we are all agreed? Let us then borrow fifteen
millions, and let us use the proceeds, not to pay our debts, but for
public entertainment. Let us celebrate the millenium in a riot of
merriment. Let us place boxes eveywhere, not, as at present, for the
deposit of money, but for the free distribution of money. Eveything
would become gratis; theaters gratis, women of easy virtue gratis, one
would drive to the park gratis, be buried gratis, one's eulogy would be
gratis; I say gratis, for when one always has money readily at hand,
everything is in a certian sense free. No one should be permitted to
own property. Only in my own case would there be an exception. I
reserve to myself secuities at the bank of London to the value of one
hundred dollars a day, partly because I cannot do with less, partly
because the idea is mine, and finally because I may not be able to hit
upon a new idea when the fifteen millions are gone.
What would be the consequences of all this prosperity? Everthing would
gravitate towards Copenhagen, the greatest artists, the greatist
dances, the greatest actors. Copenhagen would be a second Athens. Waht
then? All the rich men would establish their homes in this city. Among
others would come the Shah of Persia, and the King of England would
also come. Perhaps you say an insurrection might happen in Persia and a
new ruler be placed on the throne as has often happened before, the
consequence being a fall in the price of the old Shah. Very well then,
I propose we sell him to the Turks; they will doubtless know how to
turn him into money. Then there is another circumstance which our
politicians seem to have entirely overlooked. Denmark hold the balance
of power in Europe. It is impossible to imagine a more fortunate lot. I
know that from my own experience; I once held the balance of power in
my family and could always do as I pleased; the blame never fell on me,
but on the others. O that my words would reach your ears, all you who
sit in high places to advise and rule, you king's men and men of the
people, wise and understanding citizens of all classes! Consider the
crisis! Old Denmark is on the brink of ruin; what a calamity! It will
be destroyed by boredom. Of all calamities the most calamitous! In
ancient times they made him a king who extolled most beautifully the
praise of the deceased king.[3] In our times we ought to make king he
who utters the best witticism, and make him crown price who gives
occasion for the utterance of the best witticism.

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